Monday, 23 November 2015

the excuse post (otherwise known as: don't get too excited)

Edinburgh fringe 2015: another missed opportunity for a blog post
I'm not really sure what's happened to this blog in the same way I am about my keyboard: I know that the keyboard is broken so I have to use the on-screen keyboard to type "k" or "l" and that it is pretty much my fault it's broken in the first place but I'm not sure how.

I've been starting to try to fill up my weekend socialsing or whatnot when I would normally be working on a blog post (just to specify I mean during the time I would be working on one, I don't spend full weekends typing away for here, otherwise my blogposts would be of a much higher quality). When I would have taken photos for my blog I'd rather take photos for instagram and frankly as much as I like a good text heavy post, I prefer to have images somewhere within my posts.

Technically I have way more free time than I've ever had as I get free periods at school but I'm finding that I'm just getting less done as I feel less motivated. It's not even for just here, it's in everything I do: school, journalling even sleeping (which may sound ridiculous but it's true).

This is an excuse post and I'm fully aware of that but I just wanted you to know why I've been so quiet on here.

I'm hoping that typing this will motivate me as blogging really does help me during winter but we'll just have to see.

Wednesday, 30 September 2015

A Yellow Rose

Above is a petal from a yellow rose my Grandpa received whilst he stayed in a care home before he passed away, it was given to him as gift from a friend when they visited who picked it from their garden. The first time I saw the rose it was bright, freshly grown and full of beauty that could only be found from a rose. It's odd to think that if I didn't nosy around my Grandpa's room I wouldn't have even noticed it, and even if I didn't the rose would have still been working its individual rose magic. 

Our last visit to the room, where the rose was ageing on it's lonesome, was filled with silence. We packed away remnants of a life which came free with familiar smells and memories. It was almost like a backwards room tour as instead of entering something new and learning all the sentimental value of every crevice in a space, we were returning the space before it had gained it's value. A new beginning. Suddenly I saw the yellow petals mixed between the bin bags and picked it up, deciding to keep it home. 

I'm not entirely sure why I was so intrigued by the rose, perhaps I was just being superficial and liked the idea of having something pretty to look at whilst lazing in my room. However, there is no denying that the rose reminded me of my Grandpa in some ways: he was a wonderful man, who grew popular in the community by his singing and by being extremely likeable. Even if you didn't know him, that did not stop him being his wonderful self. Even if he can't continue his virtues, they still exists in the memories of others.  

Rest In Peace.

Saturday, 19 September 2015

Mom Jeans and Celebrities

Hello guys! So over the past two years I've completely lost any love for jeans that I used to own...well until mom jeans came back into fashion. Skinny jeans, at least for me, seem to have this talent of making their way into every outfit even though they aren't necessarily that comfy at all. Eventually I came to the conclusion that skirts are a lot easier to deal with and found myself going on online shopping sprees for skirts. 

However, then mom jeans came back into fashion and I ended up going back on my word and buying a pair from Topshop anyway (to be fair, they are a lot comfier). So I thought I should post a few outfits as they haven't yet graced this blog;
 Here I paired them with a crop top from a charity shop (originally from Topshop) with an unbuttoned vintage blouse (also bought from a charity shop. I also paired this with my blue jelly shoes from Primark.
 This is a look slightly inspired by Madonna in the 1980's with her corset like tops matched with chunky jewellery (however I do say this very loosely). I wore the jeans with a polka dot strapped top (and yes I do realise that this is too small for me, don't worry I'm donating it asap) over a black top with lace detail.

On the note of Madonna, I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be a celebrity nowadays. When you find yourself known to media, every detail they can find out about you is under scrutiny. Often you can't relate these images to the person actually in them: when they are dealing with mental health problems, only their point of breakdowns are are reported so they can be portrayed as crazy; if they normally treat people well, newspapers will replay a video of them being rude to someone to convey them as mean. It's so important to remember that unless you know these people, you should not assume you do.

If you disagree with me or just wish to say anything feel free to comment below! See you soon!

Wednesday, 2 September 2015

Why blog?

Hey there again! Happy September everyone! I seem to have a few months old photos from the Lake District that turned out okay when for some reason in my mind I thought I already posted any of the decent looking ones of Instagram!! Enjoy my thoughts!

The Lake District is a place that I find to be very inspiring. Every year we stroll around, seeing the sights, reading on the occasion and I always return full of ideas (whether they get used is another story). This year was no different having scrolled down any random detail into my notebook yet I never really made any blog posts and explored the new topics that I wanted to explore. Which remembering has made me realise I've done that with a lot of (unpublished) blog posts recently.
top - Call of the Wild, jeans -Topshop, boots - Dr Marten

Originally, this blog was created as a place to share anything I wished to share. It seemed necessary to have a place where my quiet and slightly awkward self could be its quiet and slightly awkward self.

However, that was over a year ago and I know to you eels out there that can live over 150 years old this may seem a touch silly (you know, almost as silly as acting as if eels would read my blog) but quite a bit has changed since then. I just don’t have as much interest having images of my daily outfits being posted or typing up the tedious things I did that day (not that I have anything against anyone doing this, seriously I did do it for over a year so it must have some positives). Now I've just been putting off posting here as it’s just not a place I connect with anymore, or I've been doing the odd post and then going back to procrastinating with something else.

To stop myself wasting a half- decent blog I’m going to change it up around here, this may mean my posts may be heavier in text than photo-ridden so consider yourselves warned. Hopefully this space won’t turn into a complete snooze-fest as I'm only going to be posting things I feel worth posting (which will still include posts about fashion of course).

I don’t want to seem as if I’m downplaying having a blog though! Personally I think everyone should have their own blog whether it’s on here or even tumblr, either way by having one you can make connections with so many people that you didn't know existed. There’s so many different uses for blogs and they’re so easy to make and accessible to most as well as less annoying than a Facebook profile page. 
jumper - Edinburgh Woollen Mill, necklace - charity shops

Returning back to the creative positivity that the Lake District creates, there should be more posts on here soon! X

Saturday, 25 July 2015

Body Confidence in the Media

***I would just like to state that I'm not trying to dissmiss trans* body disphoria or stating that genderqueer people do not experience body shaming and self shaming. I'm only using the terms men and women as the media targets this topic in such a manner and this piece is questioning the media (and I'm definitely as knowledgable as I would need to be to delve into these topics).***

Back in April a diet pill advertising using the phrase "Bikini Body" caused an outrage over the internet I can completely understand. Many people deemed it to be shaming women's figures or increasing the intense pressures those who identify as women face in keeping themselves "in shape" simply so that we wont be degraded by the world around us.

Now don't get me wrong, of course men are also surrounded with the images of gyms, protein shakes etc, but all of these images come from the patriarchal value of being the opposite of women (and in all honesty I'm using the word "opposite" as a euphemism for having more power over women, but I do understand that there is only so much of my feminist rampages my blog can take so I'll keep it at a minimum). Yet to deny that men do not suffer from body confidence as many statistics will tell me that men certainly do would be denying men's issues with body confidence, and if you are like the many on Facebook I have stupidly argued with (yes I know, I thought I was better than that too) then I suggest taking a read of this article from the guardian.  

My personal experience with body image started at a very young age when I began to read magazines with images of people that I simply couldn't live up to because they were over-airbrushed or were celebrities and models sucked into the abyss of body shaming. Personally, having a petite build as I did would have made me felt more celebrated than others may have but I also felt the worry of losing it. The media seemed to be warning me that if you become "out of proportion" or have "cellulite", in between the lines of the diets combined with weight-tracking "celebs" littered throughout magazines, that you aren't good enough to get into the glossy pages which my role models shone upon.

The invisible system continues into television, specifically children's TV. This being due to the ridiculous fact of Disney channel employing actors double the age of the character's they played. I was baffled of how perfect and grown up these "teenagers" seemed to be, being that the only teenagers I knew growing up dealt with acne and awkward stages. Yet the television seemed to tell no tale of broken voices or greasy skin. It was only on occasion you would find people like Miley Cyrus (who auditioned for Hannah Montana when she was 11) who were actually literally fresh-faced.

As with anything a person is surrounded by growing up with, you tend to become nurtured into a process. This particular process being body shaming and other different patterns of self hatred (as well it can feed into mental illness but as I am not a professional as you well know I'm not in a position to delve too much into that topic specifically).  You begin to notice people not accepting complements, not because they want to hear more about how great they are but simply because they have been told how they should not be any less than perfect in a world where it's impossible. More importantly, you begin to notice the system causing this cycle of self-hatred: The Media.

Nowadays, with my legs ridden with stretch marks and other imperfections, growing 2 sizes upwards from the stress of Scottish Highers, and summer bringing out the tan of old scars, this year has been my most difficult in terms of finding self-worth and I won't let myself be told once more that I'm being "overly emotional" when I struggle the most. I will try my best to promote body confidence to all and I hope you do too. Thank you for reading.

Wednesday, 10 June 2015

a fraction out of a hundred

Hello again! It feels as if it's been ages since I've last been here! How are you? How was exams and anything else going on in your lives? Now that we've got the niceties out the way lets talk about my absence (or absence of posts with a decent amount of thought put towards them). 

On my hiatus I was finished my gruesome highers and started sixth year of school. It's a terrifying feeling being in my last year of high school: we're so close to leaving which means I don't have to deal with the utter nonsense that comes with my school (i.e. bullying, stress and all that jazz) yet I don't want to leave because that means I have to start thinking more about the rest of my life. Fortunately, I made the right decision and choosing all creative subjects this year so I can at least cope somewhat for now. 

While I was away I realised there were a few dregs left from the post around style so I thought I may as well share them in a couple of blogs, so here you go (also as an added bonus enjoy my unnecessary reflections):
top - New Look, skirt - charity shop, sunglasses - Primark
Of course these photos were never going to be in the post because they were of me and I didn't want the post to be about me in the slightest (kinda strange considering this is my blog, oh well) but Nikki and Eve were adamant about involving me in the pictures. So I feel like I should post these up here anyway because I'd feel like it would be a bit of a waste.
I'm really glad how the post came out in the end, it's definitely my favourite blog post so far that I've done, mostly due to the effort that I put into it. I've certainly learned a lot from it, if not just from my wise friends but also from just making the post the amount of effort I want to put into this now and I feel incredibly lucky as I have a whole summer ahead of me to work on that.

Reflecting on the post itself has made me realise that I don't actually have a style. When buying clothes, I just see something I like and buy it. I guess I'm getting more into buying clothing from charity shops and vintage shops/events but I only really do as I see it to be more ethical than buying something straight from the high street and my purse prefers it more too. It may be that I don't see myself having a style simply because I'm at a stage where I'm changing constantly: one second I feel anxious the next I feel confident. Style in the end is a silent method of expression (well at least for me it is).

My advice for people who want find their own style is to think about their surroundings and what they wish to gain from it. Gaining a sense of style can do many things and you need to be aware of that. Sometimes the way you wish to dress may not be safe for you at this moment. Sometimes you might want to make an opinion heard. Clothing isn't only to be aesthetically pleasing, you can use it in whatever way you wish and that's why it's so incredibly exciting! (And yes I do know that I'm essentially paraphrasing what Eve and Nikki said, but it's so important!)
boots - Dr Marten
I want to be clear here, I'm not as out of proportion as it may look. Eve is simply a wee bit smaller than me and I was crouching.

See you next time with hopefully a lot more blogs and a lot more ideas!x

Wednesday, 20 May 2015

"Little YouTube"

So today's post is slightly inspired by Ashley Mardell's new video so you might wan't to check her out first,or maybe check that out first if you wish!

As YouTube has become a more mainstream topic the YouTubers on the platform have become bigger in terms of subscriptions and views. So as this has happened, an entire community of smaller YouTubers have been forgotten.

Personally I have no issue with there being big/famous YouTubers. I watch these people for entertainment and that's what I get. I know that these people put up fronts of smiley faces, may script their videos, put more make up on in their videos than in real life and do dozens of takes before the final finished video but I am still perfectly happy to watch.These videos don't need to be a reality as the people who watch them have their own realities and simply subscribe for the light-heartedness of the community or whatever reason. As in the end we as the viewer know that YouTube has a become a job.

However I can perfectly understand why being a part of "Little YouTube" is so attractive. I like the idea of having my own platform to share whatever I wish to share without having the responsibility of so many subscribers, I mean that was the exact reason I started my blog.

However those are simply just my views. If any of you guys have a different opinion please feel free to share as I am really interested in this (as with most topics around YouTube because I spend way too much time on there, it's essentially my virtual home).

And on the topic of YouTube, I think I would like to start using my channel. I don't know whether I'd keep doing vlogs as I find it to be a little nerve-racking but I quite like the idea of making some form of video content above this blog as it would be a good way to explore a different platform.